Margaret Feinberg, one of my
favorite authors and one of the greatest people in the world, shared the
following article, and I wanted to pass it on to you as we celebrate
Thanksgiving and deal with the huge topic of forgiveness. Read on and connect with Margaret at https://margaretfeinberg.com
How to Practice 360 Degree Forgiveness
Forgiveness isn’t always a
one and done act.
When you feel hurt or wronged or misunderstood or misinterpreted
or maligned, it’s easy for unforgiveness to drip into your soul and ferment,
seeping into more layers of your attitude and actions than you realize.
You may find yourself angry at someone else, angry at the
situation or circumstances, angry at yourself, angry at God, or just stinkin’
angry.
When you feel those hot emotions flare or the hear the crack of
cynicism in your thoughts or words, it’s a sign you’ve become tied to what’s
happened in an unhealthy way.
Freedom awaits through
forgiveness.
Yet sometimes it’s not easy to forgive. A friend who I trusted
recently did something that made me feel betrayed. She never intended to hurt
me, but the wound cut deep. Since then every time I’ve looked at her I haven’t
really seen her. I’ve seen the betrayal, felt the pain, and echoed the
question, “How could you?”
I’ve said I forgive her aloud to myself and to God. But to be
honest, the forgiveness wasn’t sticking. I was just as angry the next time I
saw her.
That’s when learned the
importance of practicing 360 Degree Forgiveness.
360 Degree Forgiveness invites us to look upward, outward, inward,
and all around as we pursue forgiveness.
UPWARD
For me, that meant realizing I was miffed at God for allowing the
situation to happen.
Let me be clear: God is perfect.
God never needs our forgiveness for a something that happened. But sometimes we
have to practice forgiveness toward God for our own healing and freedom.
In the case of my friend, I was angry that God didn’t stop or
prevent the situation from happening. Though I didn’t want to say it aloud, I
was fuming mad at God. And releasing that anger meant saying, God, though you have done no
wrong, I forgive you for what I had perceived as a wrong. Will you forgive me
for being mad at you?
In practicing forgiveness toward God, I found that suddenly I
could talk to God about the situation in ways I couldn’t have before. I began
to see my friend from God’s perspective, one of love and compassion and
understanding.
God can do no wrong but sometimes in our heart we feel wronged by
god and so we need to release God from our anger, disappointment, frustration
—in the process we begin having more honest conversations than we ever have and
experience deeper healing
OUTWARD
I also needed to forgive my friend. This time I didn’t just
forgive her aloud, I blessed her and prayed for her. I even did something kind.
In the process, my hard heart softened. And I asked God to forgive me for my unforgiveness.
INWARD
All that seething had made me inwardly toxic. I didn’t even want
to be around myself when I was around her and that was frustrating. This may
sound strange, but I needed to forgive myself for being mad at myself for
behaving in such an unpleasant way. So after forgiveness reached upward and
outward, it needed to reach inward.
ALL AROUND
True freedom also meant remembering the person I’d unloaded on and
asking for their forgiveness for my anger and angst. The person said, “You were
fine, no worries.” But somehow reaching out gave me an even deeper sense of
freedom.
By practicing 360 Degree Forgiveness—upward, outward, inward, and
all around—the anger that I couldn’t shake suddenly vanished in all directions
and I was free.
Scripture
encourages us toward 360 Degree Forgiveness when Christ says in
Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive
others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Our ability to be forgiven is
intrinsically linked to our ability to forgive others. Let’s start practicing
this radical forgiveness today.
Which is hardest for you—practicing
360 Degree Forgiveness upward, outward, inward, or all around?
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