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| my grandmother |
For to me, to live is Christ and to die
is gain. But if I am to live on in
the flesh, this will mean fruitful
labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from
both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is
very much better;
I’d
like to be in London taking in some of the 2012 summer Olympics, but I’m
not. Someone on FaceBook did use my name
and my picture claiming to be me saying I lost my wallet and needed friends to
send me money. It was a scam and not
me. Hope you didn’t send money.
I’d
like to be back at the beach enjoying the breeze off the ocean and the calming
roar of the waves as well as the fun of jumping the waves with my kids. But I’m not there either.
I’d
like to be at lots of different places, and there are many that are my
favorites: the beach, the mountains, any where with my wife and kids, on a
cruise way out in the ocean, on a mission trip in Honduras or some other neat
place like West Virginia. But I’m not at
any of those either.
Today
I spent most of the day, many hours, sitting next to my grandmother whose life
seems to be slipping away. Grandma
Bobbie went into the hospital a couple months ago, and since that time she has
been in the hospital a couple times and in a rehab center. Late last week she was put in hospice
care. Today we talked a little bit. She slept a lot. She held my hand most of the time, some times
squeezing so tight that my hand went to sleep.
We talked about the past and about her parents who went to heaven a long
time ago and about all the people we care about.
30
years ago my grandma and my aunt moved into our home. We were already family, but this changed
things a bit … but it has been the life we know. Grandma Bobbie loves tennis and puzzle books,
and she can argue with anyone. But she
is my grandma. She has loved me for four
decades, and every time we talk she says “I love my boy” (maybe I am her
favorite grandchild). Her words are
always kind, gentle and genuine.
This
is not my favorite place. Through the
years I’ve been with many families as they have had loved ones to pass away,
but this is different. I knew that I
needed to come back to Oklahoma at some point this month because her health was
getting worse. I didn’t know it would be
this soon. Here I am. I realized that I have the best seat in the
world even though it’s not my favorite place.
Death
is something we all have to deal with.
God told us that fact. My grandma
is ready. She is ready to see her
parents and all the other family and friends who have gone there before us. Grandma Bobbie has made peace with God and
knows Jesus as her Savior. Like I said,
she is ready, but maybe we aren’t ready to let her go. Maybe you have been there, and I bet you
would agree that this is not your favorite place either.
So for
the next few days I’ll sit and pray. We
will talk some, and I will cry a lot (like I did today). Life is precious. Do you get that? Cherish life and the people God has brought
your way. Share life and the salvation
that God has given you so others will know the promise of heaven and peace like
you and I have experienced.
I’m
not praying that my grandma will stay here with us because I believe something
bigger than us. I believe earth is not
to be our favorite place. That is
reserved for heaven. One day I’ll go
there, and it will be my favorite place for sure. Until then I’ll take what God sends my way,
and I will ask Him daily to help me walk through every one of the spaces that
are not my favorite place.
In My Father's house are many dwelling
places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.
He will wipe every tear from their
eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or
pain. All these things are gone forever.
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