In our current series at The
Community we are talking about 5 ways to fail proof our marriage. Making these Commitments will make a
difference in our marriages and in all our relationships. Whatever your situation in life, there are
things that will help you be successful in all your relationships.
Ever fought with anyone? We all have fights. Even my wife and I have some fights from time
to time. And we must be careful to not
let what seems so important to become insignificant.
All couples will fight. We are sinful beings and will deal with
things in a way that doesn’t honor. We
have issues. That’s when I realize that
the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships are huge.
Healthy couples fight
fair. Unhealthy couples fight dirty (below
the belt, jabs, undercuts, accusations).
Healthy couples fight for Resolution.
Unhealthy couples fight for victory.
As couples and in all of our relationships we must learn to fight
fair. The way we fight makes a
difference.
James 1:19-20
NLT
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and
sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
There are some things we can
do to make our marriages stronger, but are we willing to take these steps? Are we willing to pay the price and declare a
truce or to recognize that God has made us to win in our relationships? That will only happen when we seek God
first. By learning to fight fair we will
seek God above all else and seek the good of the people we care the most
about. We need to learn…
Here are 3 rules to fighting
fair. First, stop to listen carefully. Second, guard our words, and third, learn to
handle anger in a way that honors God and shows the righteousness of Christ.
Each of those rules can’t be
overlooked. They flow from the verses
above. Listening and speaking are
linked, and how we respond to the people we care about is a big deal. Often we are quick to throw a low blow or get
angry or too quick to speak, but when we start to fight, we stop and focus on
what matters.
Proverbs
18:2 (NLT)
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only
want to air their own opinions.
We just want to be heard
when things aren’t right. We aren’t trying
to understand what is being said when things are right. By fighting fair the focus moves to the other
person and what they saying, and literally we are letting them know that they
have value and are important to us.
Proverbs
21:23 (NLT)
Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and
you will stay out of trouble.
Working toward resolution in
our relationships begins with guarding our words and making sure that we are
working on our marriage before a problem comes up. Give yourself and your spouse time to share
and build momentum for a good and blessed marriage.
It’s hard to be intimate
with God when you are angry and fighting with your mate or when you are holding
on to bitterness. When you get married,
you learn quick how to fight, the wrong way, most of time. When we don’t deal with our fights or our
anger, you give the devil a foothold. Little
problems get bigger, and by not working on our issues they tend to grow bigger.
Ephesians
4:26-27 (NLT)
26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control
you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for
anger gives a foothold to the devil.
Seeking God together is a
big deal. Last week I asked our church
family in their marriage to begin praying together every day. If you have started, start now. If you have started praying together, don’t
stop now. If you did stop, start again.
By dealing with our fighting
or learning to fight fair we don’t react but respond to each other. Remember it’s hard to fight and pray with
someone. Remember it’s hard to be
intimate with God and have bitterness and unforgiveness in your life. If you seek God and you fight fair, God will
protect your marriage, and God will bring healing to your marriage
Luke 1:37 NLT
For nothing
will be impossible with God.
Make a commitment: We will
not fight against each other. We are
going to fight for our marriages with every thing in us. It always takes us. We are in this together. God wants our relationships to be strong and
be successful.
I do want to thank Pastor
Craig Groeschel and Lifechurch.tv for helping us use this series in the life of
our church. It is my prayer that God
will use these messages to bring restoration and healing to broken
relationships. I am praying for you!
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