Romans 13:8 NLT
Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s
law.
Hebrews 10:24 NLT
Let us think of ways to motivate one
another to acts of love and good works.
Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? It is a great book written by Gary Chapman
I have used this books and it’s
teaching through counseling and helping people prepare for marriage for about
19 years. Many of those people have
found help when relationships get stale or difficult. It has been proven to be something that helps
couples stay strong or to even reconnect.
It isn’t a miracle drug or a quick fix.
In fact that the 5 Love Languages
really do is help you learn someone else’s language.
It is very difficult and almost
impossible to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak the same language that
you do. You have to use an interpreter
or some kind of tool to allow you to talk to that person.
Here are the 5 Love Languages and what they are about:
Words of Affirmation — unsolicited encouragement and compliments. Saying, “I love you,” is important but hearing
the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults leave you
shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time — it is undivided attention, being there for this
person is critical, really be there.
Turn off the TV, put down the fork and knife down… makes your someone
feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to
listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts — the receiver of gifts
thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift, believe you
are cared for. A missed birthday,
anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous.
Acts of Service — Anything you do to ease
the burden of responsibilities weighing another person will speak volumes. Laziness, broken commitments, and making more
work for them, tell those with this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch — not all about the bedroom. They are very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back,
holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can
all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are
crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
By learning what someone’s love
language is you break through their exterior or through a person’s pain to
where they feel or are sensitive. I will
use my wife as an example, and I think she is an incredible lady all
together. Her love languages are
“quality time” and “acts of service”. So
when I chose to spend that time with her or do things to serve her she knows
that I really love her. Sitting on the couch
and just saying “I love you” isn’t enough.
Married people have to connect on other levels as well.
In fact Zig Ziglar said, “to get what you
want help someone else get what they want.”
By serving others we learn how relationships really work. Marriage is much the same way. Study the person you love. Get to know what they like and what makes
them happy. Taking the time to learn and
applying what you learn will make a difference in your relationship.
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than
yourselves. Don’t look out
only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
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