dealing with adult children

Let me begin by saying that our kids are awesome.  We are blessed with a great family and so proud of where our children are and how they are doing.

Dealing with adult children is much different than raising your kids when they are young and still at home.  This is one of the toughest things that I, as a father, have had to learn.

There are limits.  You know what I am talking about because age and time and place change everything.

When our three kids were living at home and in school, we had the opportunity to speak in to their lives.  We had the responsibility of their protection, providing for them and even seeing they are educated spiritually and otherwise.  Great times.  Some times they are tough.  But always rewarding.

Things have changed as our kids changed.

The girls are both married, and one of them has a child of their own.  That little one is the most precious grand child in all the world (until our next one is born).  Their lives are busy.  They live a good distance from us.  One is half way around the globe.  The other is three and a half hours drive north of us.  Our son is still at home but making his way in their world working and in college.

It is different when you guide them as an adult than when they were children.  That changes a lot.

But the things that changes, the things I want to share with you are really good and big and really hard, at least for me.

I pray for our children.  We have always done that, but now I pray a little differently and harder.

I give advise.  Yet now I give it more when I am asked for it.  I still have that right and responsibility.

I desire to guide them and encourage them to grow with God, to be spiritual and to care about what God cares about.  This isn’t easy but so good.

Proverbs 22:6  NASB  

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older he will not abandon it.

Julie quotes this more than I do, and I love that she still does that.  We started a long time ago, and we continue to trust God to keep His promises over our kids.

Ephesians 6:4  NASB  

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Still my desire, my responsibility, and I have learned this.  Some times I have learned the hard way.  Life gets rough, and my attitude coming home some times has been less than best.  But my job is to bring out the best in our child.

Matthew 19:13  NASB  

Then some children were brought to Him so that He would lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them.

Jesus knew to pray for the children.  It is my job to this.  I still pray for them, over them and with them.  But it is a little different today.  Use to it was every night when we are at home.  Now it is when we are together or over the phone when we need it.

I find myself crying when I pray more and more.  It is because these kids and my wife have my heart.  Often what has my heart brings tears to my eyes.  And that is ok.

Last Sunday we were in church in Hawaii with our oldest daughter and our son.  We knew that our other daughter and her family had been in church where they live.  No, it is not the same as when we were all sitting on the front row of The Community Fellowship some years ago, but we were all in church.  It hit my heart.

I will continue to keep my responsibility as their father, but it is different.  It is harder some times.  But it is still my gift, my blessing and our calling as their parents. 

I love my children, and I am excited about their lives.  That is why I will keep on praying for them.  I will keep on helping them learn truth from God as I have opportunity.  I will keep on Loving them because they have my heart.

Dealing with adult children is so different, but it is good, too.